Saturday, January 21, 2006

Yes, my name is Azrul.

Azrul 3 months before company law and international law exams

1. A sound person with an accurate definition(s) of the word ‘life’ and the word ‘fun’

Azrul 3 days before company law and international law exams


1. A love for legal knowledege at its highest level.
2. The word  ‘fun’ is very offensive.
3. The idea of the divinity of a higer being suddenly starting to surfaced.
4. A creature.
5. Veins filled with ‘Redbull’ and cofee.
6. Wondering why the library is warmer than usual.
7.Objection to any form of sexual intercourse.
8. Mirrors lie.
9. Two female hamsters almost die of hunger.
10. Overflow of Mozart and Vivaldi from the stereo
11. Ipod is a life-pod.
12. Your new guardian angel is called ‘time’ and He also Known as the devil.
13. Sleep is a torture.
14. Pain killer can help you to sleep
15. Library is your temple and the desk is your shrine and Harris international text book is your deity.
16. Water is the fountain of youth.
17. Housework is evil
18. Dressing code : T-shirt and jeans only allowed.
19. You have a pink jumper.
20. Shaving is an option.
21. The word ‘life’ resonanace with the word ‘pass’

Posted by Azrul at 22:40:54 | Permalink | Comments (5)

Friday, January 20, 2006

My favourite things.

I was stopped by a sociology student this morning on my way to law school(what are they doing in ‘our’ territory hah?).He asked me to fill in some stupid questionaires(a first year student, i can smell anxiety in the air).

Question no 23. What is/are your favourite thing(s)?

It stopped me. After 22 years of breathing cant i actually point out certain things that i consider to be my favourite things and disregard others(remind me of the song from the ’sound of music’ where Julie Andrews seemed to love everything in that movie..greedy bitch!).After more than 12 hours i came down with 4 things.

1. floating feathers

2.a silver covertable Porche Carrera GT

3.Marriage of Heaven and Hell-Blake

4.And this poem..got it from some movie it think(i found it in my collection after hours of browsing !) anyone know who wrote this?,,,but anyway this is a direct translation of it since its in malay…sorry for my mistranslation..coz its not easy ok?..haha.This no Blake neither Frost, the tone is sad and the words are powerful.One more thing this is a direct translation not an interpretation.

Ku lari ke hutan kemudian menyanyiku,.
Ku lari ke pantai kemudian teriakku
Sepi..sepi dan sendiri aku benci
Ingin bingar aku mau di pasar..
Bosan aku dengan penat
Enyah saja kau pekat

Seperti berjelaga jika ku sendiri
i ran to the forest and there i sang

i ran to the beach and there i screamed,

lonely..lonely, how i hate this loneliness,

i miss the noise of the crowd

go away darkness

I am sick and tired

it is so dark when i am alone


Pecahkan saja gelasnya biar ramai
Biar mengaduh sampai gaduh
Ada malaikat menyulam jaring labah-labah belang di tembok keraton putih
Kenapa tidak kau goyangkan saja locengnya biar terdera
Atau aku harus lari ke hutan
Belok ke pantai..?
Why dont you break the glass so everyone can hear,

lets argue till we fight,

somewhere, there is an angel weaving the web of of a striped spider on the wall of the white temple,

why didnt you struck the bell and create commotion?

or should i run to the forest

and turn to the beach?

Bosan aku dengan penat
Dan enyah saja kau pekat
Seperti berjelaga jika ku sendiri
Im sick and tired,

go away darkness

it is so dark when i am alone.

look at the words…it still amazed me as i read through it again..


Posted by Azrul at 01:04:44 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Im sorry guys, i really do.

Its 1am im laying on bed…i just finished my last chapter for international law. Peterpan(a malay spoken-indonesian boy band) is on the stereo.

‘Dan mungkin bila nanti, kita kan ber temu lagi.’

’satu pintaku jangan kau cuba tanyakan kembali’


    once upon a time there was a boy, He was about 16 years old and he was lost. One day he met a group of people that has finally showed to him why life is worth living. Why it is fun when you quarrel with the teachers, misunderstood those who are good in maths and claim yourself to be good at something eventhough you have doubt in yourself. Every morning he will tell himself ‘God, if u ever take my friends away i will stop believing in u’ and God did, and I was the boy.
   
    Now im turning 22 anytime soon, listening to Peterpan on the stereo, every notes, every words pierce my heart and the pain is unbearable. Why have i decided to be this snobish english educated person? why do i always fail to put myself in your shoes?,, i really fuck things up this time. Yes i will pass my exam very well, yes i will get what i ever wanted here in england, but i miss u guys more than anything,
   
    Remember those nite when i stole my mum;s car in the middle of the nite and we went fo r a joy ride around town?…those cheap burgers by the side of the road?..and later we have a smoke by the side of the river talking about what we gonna be in the next 5 years, remeber our first gig together?..remember the choki-choki girl? remember the bootboys? remember the spin?,,our first drunken nite together? remember the big fight? remeber when i cried in the car?

    We are here now, but i have failed all of you, im sorry, im really sorry for losing myself to my books, im sorry for losing myself to my dreams, im sorry for being what i have become now, im really sorry but I have gone too far and i cant turn back anymore…

‘Dan mungkin bila nanti, kita kan ber temu lagi.’

’satu pintaku jangan kau cuba tanyakan kembali’

Posted by Azrul at 01:32:52 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Monday, January 16, 2006

One Done Two More To GO!!

Finally after weeks of sweating off my brain, i have finally concluded my essay this evening!..alhamdulilah…finally i can see the fruit of my labour, i think its good, but its all depends on my prof (god bless him..hehe)..
this is good..now i can finaly sit down properly and crack my brain for the other 2 papers, wish me luck ladies and gentlemen, coz im in need for one.
Posted by Azrul at 19:02:31 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Inside Im Dancing..

Plot-Michael (Steven Robertson) has cerebral palsy and has spent all his life in residential care. Disowned by his successful lawyer father (Gerard McSorley), he knows nothing beyond the walls of the Carrigmore Home for the Disabled (“a special home for special people”) and its kind but firm staff of nurses. Until, that is, he meets new resident Rory (James McAvoy), a wise-cracking rebel who will not allow his Duchenne muscular dystrophy to sap his spirit.

My comment-From the starting of the movie i told myself “ahh..this is another movie where the kid on the wheelchair will fall in love with a woman that will change his life..and the same story again” I was wrong.

Unlike most renown drama(such I am Sam and so on..) the plot moves dramaticaly fast from one scene to ther other,without me puzzling around the story line, is bloody amazing!. there were 2 scenes that really caught my intention.
    The first one was when Rory for the first time brought Micheal into a club and on the dance floor(where Rory was moving around and around on his wheelchair), micheal asked him” wht are you doing?” and he said” can u see?..inside in dancing!”. Im used of people telling me what they feel inside,,,and its always sad or just hopes. never have i heard somehting that is so full of life and being on a wheelchair, i can imagine how hard it is..this is not a sympathetic gestures for those on wheelchair but rather for us that can dance on our feet but refuse to.
    The best part of the movie was at the very end where, after the death of Rory, MIcheal was in his room talking to his empty wheelchair, asking whther he should go out(he had live all his life in a care center untill he met Rory), and You can hear Rory answering to him and ask him to go out(remember he has died). it reminds me of the movie “Sepet” a locally (malaysia) acclaimed film, where at the end when Jason pick up the call from Orked(bearing in mind that he aswell has died too). This is to me is the beauty of a good directing and script writing!…The spirit is always there in you no matter what, and by answering the questions, the deads has never died. And to me that is the most precious gift from god when he takes your love one away. A salute to both directors, yasmin(Sepet) and Damien O’donnel(inside im dancing).
Posted by Azrul at 16:55:45 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Good Bye Cruel World!

Im not commiting suicide, neither putting myself in danger(maybe not too much danger i suppose), but i will succumb to the word of intellectual fantasies and try to solve dignified dillemma,,yes people its exam time!..revision marathon is on!…im a bit fuck up..so bear with me ok?…love all of u to bits!
Posted by Azrul at 00:10:04 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

Eros,Thymos and Nous

The whole afternoon ive been reading Plato..theres a part i wanna share with you guys.
    According to Plato..(In Socrates’s words..The Republic is such a weird book) there are three parts to the soul first a desiring part(eros), second is the spirited or prideful part(thymos) and lastly a rational part(nous).
    These 3 parts are not reducible to one another and are in many ways not commensurable,
    Lets just say my eros might tell me to leave anything i have now and to the first flight to Brazil to fuck all the latinos but my nous will stop me from leaving my studies(fucking law school!) so i can graduate n be proud of what im about to achieve and what i want or what most people has expected from me(thymos).
    From my observations different conceptions of what is good (or possibly bad) requires or favour different parts of the soul!,,,
If i can use this idea i might find the way to control my eros using my nous to make sure i achieved thymos..get me?…as Shame is my worst nightmare(being brought up in a family of perfectionist i was once a very disturbed kid..haha) ..thymos can be a great gift to this sad little soul.
    But why thymos?..why not eros? is this where nous will kick in say “its ur responsibility”?
    Socrates took the poison that was offered to him as an option to declare his teaching was wrong…to say it was wrong to question the gods.Was that Thymos or nous?,,Was that pure pride or a rational thinking ? either one of it…it killed him..my great Socrates.
    Will i end up like my great Socrates?…to swallow the poison of life, to chose thymos as my vice, to look in the miror n say “u have done the right thing mate’..n to look at the proud eyes of those who has their eros over my thymus..
Posted by Azrul at 00:29:39 | Permalink | Comments (1) »